Over the past thirty-nine years we have had lots of ups and downs. Finding laughter in tough times in no way diminishes hardship, tragedies, or the difficulties encountered along the way. I seek not to make light of situations but rather to find grains of sands that would make our journey more tolerable. Laughter comes naturally for me. I inherited it from my mom. She always finds something funny in everything. That was passed on to my youngest brother, Nels. He was always the family clown. He made us laugh even when no one felt like it. From me, that gift of laughter has passed on to our youngest daughter, Sarai. She’s another clown with quick quips at all times. Laughter seems to have also passed down to our five-yr. old granddaughter. Praise God for that.
You have noticed several people pictured in my blogs. They are the friends I grew up with and have had many memories established with over the years. Here are a few notes on some of them.
Back in 1980, Nels got diabetes at the young age of 20. He’s been carrying that cross 40years. Life hasn’t been easy for him, but he makes the best of it.
Recently, I posted a picture of Benjamin, Terry’s brother. I probably met Ben back in 1967 when I was ten. The guys on the block never spoke to them. We only saw them on their way to church at night. They’d hop in a car with their parents and grandparents but never came out to play. We really came to know them in 1978 when they moved back into the same building (Terry for only six months) after moving out in 1974. In 1978 she brought me to the Lord, though I didn’t make that decision publicly known until May, 1979. One day in 1988, I saw and spoke to Ben as I was riding my bike. A few days later, he was dead. He was shot and killed in front of his young wife and toddler kids. Killed right in front of where he lived and grew up. Being the same age as my brother Nels, Ben was only 27. So sad.
Gil’s brother Angel, the husky, fast, switch-hand baseball player, and deejay, worked as a train conductor for New York’s MTA. Along the way, he ended up needing dialysis 1-2 weekly. This one day in 2008, he was home with Gil in the same apartment where years earlier, they lost their mom and then their dad. As the brothers talked in the living room, Gil asked him if he wasn’t going for his treatments. Angel told him, “I’m not going today, I have this under control.” The phone rang some 25 feet away in the adjoining kitchen. Gil went for it and answered it. As he said, “It’s for you…” he began to scream at Angel who died that quickly. One phone call called him home. Another friend gone.
Later, when I moved with my family to PR. We met Terry and her parents. Once-in-a-blue moon, she would visit us. One day, she was with us and we invited her to our church’s Christmas party about 40 minutes away. Terry headed home first promising to return, but never showed. We called several times, to no avail. She vanished.
Five years later, I received a call from her! She had been desperately trying to locate us with an important message. I asked if she was in PR. She was, and had been so for several months. I asked why she hadn’t called or visited, and she said she was trying to reach all the important people in her life. She then told me, “It’s that I’m dying.” I asked what she meant and she said she had stage 4 cancer. We went to visit her. As you’ll see in the picture below, she was known for her long, jet-black hair. When we saw her, her hair had turned white and she was hunched over. We thought we were looking at an 80+ year old lady. Our son walked in a few minutes later and motioned ‘Who’s she?’ As soon as he heard her voice his eyes opened wide in disbelief. Sadly, Terry passed away August 11, 2011 less than three months before her 54th birthday.
These are real situations. We’ve also lost friends Izzy, Joey, brothers Alex and Miguel, and Ray’s brothers Tomas & Danny. We’ve heard rumors that Danny-Boy is also gone. In the last 4 years I have lost four of my five older brothers. So, although I write about laughter interspersed throughout special memorable events, I do so, acknowledging the brevity of life. In conclusion, it’s important to make every moment count. I find it best to laugh along the way, than to cry. There are enough daily situations siphoning our tears causing great sadness.
“They that sow in tears, shall reap in joy” (Psalm 126:5).
“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).
God Bless!
Happy New Year!
Sam