So, one day this past week, my wife and I finally managed to get away alone for at least 2 hours. My 88 -year-old mom has now been living with us for the past 8 months requiring lots of attention and care. The idea of not having to cook or eat at home was part of the goal. The other, celebrating my birthday, was the main reason to get away. We went to my favorite place: Golden Corral. See, I’m not a restaurant guy. I can’t wait for an hour for my food. At GC I get up and get it, and that’s it.
Ahh, the joys and benefits of eating away from our kitchen! The moment felt so surreal…until it became all-too-real: “Honey, are you slouching?” Sit up straight” my wife said. “Uh, I see lettuce, tomatoes, green peas…but where’s your spinach?” she asked. “I’m celebrating today” I said. “Well, I would think celebrating or not…” “Umm, this chicken’s good and crunchy,” I said, trying to sidetrack her. Then in hush tones, almost clenching her teeth, she said, “Those bones on the napkin…put them with the empty plates!” “Nah, I said, the waiter will pick them up later.” She kept nodding her head almost like a bubblehead doll, saying, “I still think that if you put them THERE on the empty plates…” “Relax,” I told her, “It’s my special day.” “Man, are you messy!” she added. And, “You should get more napkins!” she continued.
“Geez,” I said, “I thought it was a great idea to leave home behind for a few hours, but wait, I brought part of it with me!” We laughed. I said, “say Ah, now let me get a big apple and stuff it to keep you quiet!”
The rest of the mealtime went well. I sat up, fastened the straightjacket, folded my napkin (Origami style!), tidied my area, scooped up crumbs (Thank God she didn’t catch those!), ditched the bones, and we ate quietly ever-after!
However, not only has the hot chocolate fudge dispenser which messed up over two years ago, not been replaced, but there was no ice cream either! What’s a birthday celebration with dark, fudgy chocolate cake and carrot cake, but no ice cream?! Bummer, big time.
But life’s like that: not everything turns out the way we’d like it to, but you can have your cake and eat it too, only on the dry side if there’s no ice cream. (Remember, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise about cakes).
Someday soon, all saved Christians will sit to eat with the Godhead: the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Right now, Jesus is up there making preparations. He’s waiting on tables… Oh, I don’t mean as a waiter, but each time He’s almost done waiting for tables to arrive, along comes God and says, “Son, another 53,000 souls just got saved.” He’s back to the drawing board. Maybe that’s what taking His return so long. Pure speculation, but you’d never know!
We’ll be gathered at the Lamb’s Marriage Supper with the Trinity! There won’t be any plastic utensils, probably, pure gold. God will not look at us sternly and thunderously say, “Pedro…sit up straight.” Or, “Briana, eat your greenies so you’ll live long…” Eternal life, remember, without sickness or pain? Not even carrots will be needed for great vision, only for carrot cake, or, if you’re a bunny!
Yep, that’ll be some celebration! I’ll eat chocolate cake with hot fudge, drenched with ice cream; both Chocolate and Cookies and Cream. Can’t forget chocolate sprinkles. It’ll be the ultimate Home away from home outing-experience. And I won’t be surprised if over in a corner some wives might stand around with their arms crossed tapping their feet and rolling their eyes, while occasionally pointing their fingers at the rest of us saying, “Now remember, eat your spinach and broccoli, cause I’m watching you…” That’s when Jesus will walk over to them, put His arm around them and say, “Ladies, please join me for some treats,” and they’ll giggle themselves away, tucking their straightjackets, battering their eyelids…and remember they’re at their new eternal home.
“Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife has made herself ready” (Revelation 19:7).
God Bless!
Sam